i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
