There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
