Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
