just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
