After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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