When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
if only i could text you this smell
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize