haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
