DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
