I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
