what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
