I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
