He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
