i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
