there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
