I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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