I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
