oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
