Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
