He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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