hell yes lets make some ravioli
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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