the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
