Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
