OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
