Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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