She is in my trunk
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
