No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
