But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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