Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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