yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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