TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Everclear isn't food dammit
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
