Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
