Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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