your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
