I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
