I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
