my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
