It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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