there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
