It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
