I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
