one two three fourrrrnication!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
