Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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