I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
