bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if only i could text you this smell
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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