but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
