Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
