I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
