We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
