Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
