ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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