she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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