How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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