PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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