I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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