for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
