either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
