3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
