And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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