i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
