u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Someone signed my nipple.
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